There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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