i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
