Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

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  (949): Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old (503): You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24. http://tfl.nu/2eqo
  Replies (7) Good night (735) Bad night (1066)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.

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  (+44): Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms. http://tfl.nu/jipl
  Replies (12) Good night (734) Bad night (5018)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.

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  (651): The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off. http://tfl.nu/d6pj
  Replies (188) Good night (723) Bad night (4710)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.

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  (256): He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m. http://tfl.nu/vqeg
  Replies (9) Good night (770) Bad night (2152)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

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  (972): I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/i1ko
  Replies (6) Good night (3067) Bad night (1020)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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  (802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1332) Bad night (879)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.

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  (812): Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs. http://tfl.nu/yev1
  Replies (9) Good night (3011) Bad night (954)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level

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  (603): i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level http://tfl.nu/sciw
  Replies (4) Good night (384) Bad night (1100)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome

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  (931): i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome http://tfl.nu/562n
  Replies (5) Good night (1615) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team

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  (703): We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team http://tfl.nu/0wyh
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five

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  (703): Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow (703): I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five http://tfl.nu/rklf
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."

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  (608): I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory." http://tfl.nu/0nol
  Replies (7) Good night (2472) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?

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  (515): He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for? http://tfl.nu/vbci
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.

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  (803): I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had. (304): Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little. http://tfl.nu/dkf0
  Replies (6) Good night (1124) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??

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  (817): Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do?? http://tfl.nu/z8vo
  Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (476)

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