I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
