Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it

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  (313): That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it http://tfl.nu/c5zl
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (942)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we have pet lesbian snakes

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  (248): we have pet lesbian snakes http://tfl.nu/tcmu
  Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (533)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.

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  (407): so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it. http://tfl.nu/5uvk
  Replies (33) Good night (1506) Bad night (4510)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.

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  (860): his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate. http://tfl.nu/ds0z
  Replies (14) Good night (902) Bad night (5199)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom

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  (613): Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom http://tfl.nu/tl5f
  Replies (13) Good night (874) Bad night (5016)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

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  (608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y
  Replies (31) Good night (6359) Bad night (956)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate

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  (508): i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate http://tfl.nu/vubl
  Replies (16) Good night (5992) Bad night (845)
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  (949): View more from California

  The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.

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  (949): The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses. http://tfl.nu/cf7g
  Replies (25) Good night (3545) Bad night (2085)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken

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  (412): when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken http://tfl.nu/q0nt
  Replies (18) Good night (1736) Bad night (4284)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

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  (423): You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING." http://tfl.nu/28kd
  Replies (5) Good night (2666) Bad night (1314)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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  (501): These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves. http://tfl.nu/s1g0
  Replies (6) Good night (3294) Bad night (925)
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  (323): View more from California

  He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

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  (323): He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated http://tfl.nu/z16t
  Replies (7) Good night (3068) Bad night (808)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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  (734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (633)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.

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  (512): Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time. http://tfl.nu/pc17
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (200)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.

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  (907): As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan. http://tfl.nu/b2sh
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (155)

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