I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
