dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.