Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Are we in a gay sports bar?

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  (775): Are we in a gay sports bar? http://tfl.nu/4qe8
  Replies (10) Good night (1242) Bad night (741)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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  (541): I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that. http://tfl.nu/itf1
  Replies (29) Good night (2486) Bad night (664)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose

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  (780): So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose http://tfl.nu/01tr
  Replies (30) Good night (1310) Bad night (3818)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.

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  (908): Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner. http://tfl.nu/otz7
  Replies (36) Good night (17086) Bad night (1108)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.

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  (602): Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter. http://tfl.nu/60s7
  Replies (17) Good night (1255) Bad night (4876)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

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  (316): I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex" http://tfl.nu/rqj6
  Replies (16) Good night (6396) Bad night (1154)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

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  (412): I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay. http://tfl.nu/hmq3
  Replies (10) Good night (1471) Bad night (3002)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.

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  (815): just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet. http://tfl.nu/j91e
  Replies (7) Good night (3449) Bad night (1159)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".

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  (404): Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant". http://tfl.nu/1jgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1468) Bad night (2950)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.

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  (423): It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/7h2p
  Replies (4) Good night (591) Bad night (1342)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...

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  (207): I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor... http://tfl.nu/nzpk
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (613)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  What is this nonsense on the table

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Your idea.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out

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  (330): What is this nonsense on the table (1-330): Your idea. (330): I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out http://tfl.nu/afwc
  Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (739)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

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  (720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6
  Replies (8) Good night (1431) Bad night (381)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.

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  (813): I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom. http://tfl.nu/xrv4
  Replies (6) Good night (323) Bad night (791)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.

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  (360): Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface. http://tfl.nu/uo9f
  Replies (0) Good night (245) Bad night (546)

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