If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
