I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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