Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
