Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
