I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
