If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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