so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
