OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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