and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
