i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
