So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
