I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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