Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
