I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
