Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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