Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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