Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
