May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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