just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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