I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize