I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
