Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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