I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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