I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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