you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
