Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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