Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
