can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
