you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
