I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
