So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
