i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize