I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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