And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
