Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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