I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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