i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
