Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
