I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
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You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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