normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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