He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
