3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
