i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
