It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
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Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I think i got beer on your cat.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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