Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize