It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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