Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
