You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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