my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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