it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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