fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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