This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
