respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
