i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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