I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
