So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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