i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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