i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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