how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
