and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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